Went to sleep at 5:00am or a little before. Or layed down anyways. I was feeling pretty tired so I did doze, but not continuously. It was the best so far though. I woke up at 5:35am or whenever my wifes alarm goes off. Then there are the three snooze buttons we dozed through. She took her shower. I took mine earlier, so I dozed. Then I had to get up. I did OK. I drove her in to work today (I would not have done this had I not felt safe). Bought the Doritos. Mission accomplished.
I have much to do today, and I gotta tell ya, I don't feel like being very productive. Since being back home about 1/2 an hour, I find that gravity has increased about 30%, and it's wearing down on me. My mind wanders easily.
Let's see. Must get car cleaned up. Must.. sleep..No!! Must scan car sites for new entries... must sl..!! I don't want to take another aspirin cause I don't want to get hooked. So I'm gonna have to tough it out. I know from my experience that this time right now when I am on my nocturnal schedule as I have been it is the most difficult time for me to stay awake. Soooo, what can I do? Becca wants the landry done. Thats a good place to start. Car wash doesn't open til' 9 anyways.
Part of me wonders if the diaries and claims of "the other side' of the break in period is just a hoax. It is very much too early to tell right now, but it is a nasty joke if it doesn't exist. If all there is is sleep depravation and pain. Ha ... ha. But based on my own experience with lack of sleep over several days I have some faith. No reason to quit now anyways.
Been thinking lots of thoughts, about the nature of REM, about habits and rituals, other things. But I'll save that. I am not even sure I am writing all that well. Sometimes I notice if I write like I talk that it doesn't look all that well, as there is no way to accent the words that I do in writing. Some sentences read both choppy and kind of runon sentencish.
I guess I will stare at the wall for a little bit. I honestly feel like doing that right now. Next sleep may be sooner than later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Opus,
I completely sympathise with how you're feeling right now. If you're going to do this though you have to snap out of this self doubt about whether or not there is "the other side".
No-one knows better than I do how gruelling this is - believe me you will know if you crash after about a week and have to start again, that happened to me twice. It's difficult to imagine anything more demoralising.
But you will get through it. Toughing it out is the only way.
Also, don't worry about being unproductive. That will last several days probably. I've done nothing but browse the web all day today, and overnight all I could do was menial physical tasks to keep myself awake. Mentally you will clear up in a few days, but for now just stay on your feet if you're feeling tired. Never, ever ever let your body persuade you to lie down thinking that you won't go to sleep.
See you on the other side.
Paul
Post a Comment