I wasn't sure what it was gonna be, but I knew that that word had to be in the title to be honest. The crash was yesterday. I slept from about 7:00am to 2:30pm or so. I don't want to say it was my fault, but in the end it was. But you know what, I don't really feel guilty about it. Do you know why that is? Because I choose not to. It's not very useful.
My wife and I are at a friends house (that is in MUCH better shape than ours right now :) ) taking care of her two teenagers for the weekend. I was told they had activities in the morning, and I layed down thinking I would be woken up to be in tow with them for the day. Well, no one hitched me up. It was supposed to be another 90 minute ultradian sleep, but it turned out to be 8 hour circadian. I know I woke up sometime around noon, but I don't remember thinking too much about going back to sleep.
Friday was a mess too, but I wouldn't call it a crash. I layed down at about 9:00am. But then all the car dealerships that I had contacted in days before and a few other random calls rang my phone or the house phone, and I fib not, almost 1 every fifteen or twenty minutes seemingly on the minute. This went on until noon! I kept either explaining things or making notes, making a new attempt at a full REM sleep cycle after each. It was rediculous, not to mention very taxing after being interupted so many times. It finally stopped sometime about noon, and I got a full ultradian sleep in after that. I do think that all the short naps combined with a solid block in the end was significant in that I didn't feel sleepy again all night until the crash yesterday morning.
I find myself surfing alot, but not reading much. I'm watching lots of TV and Youtube, and sifting through dozens of car dealership and car listing sites. I've already brought one sales manager to visible annoyance over my knowledge of the current market. But I think I was too tired and inconsiderate with him, or had not developed propper rapport, to get down to a good deal. Actually, although he was a smart saleman, I didn't feel the guy had much of a depth of character. I tend to be a little judgemental that way when I don't need to be. My wife who is even less tollerant than I am wasn't too concerned. The funny thing is that this salesmanager had to go to a supervisor to come down any amount at all.
I hate car salesmen.
Perhaps that is a problem.
Ok, back to abnormal. 16 hours or so and counting. We'll be back home by noon. I'll need to lay down about then. Since this week should be clear of social or other outside activities other than with my wife I should be able to get a solid bite on the polyphasic habit. These past two days, being at someone elses house with strangers definitely demonstrated to me that you have to get a good hold on the schedule and get those naps in at the right times.
Know what else is notable? Sleeping in like that doesn't change the end result. I don't necessarily feel all that much better after. It feels good to sleep, but it doesn't change the waking hours. And if my sleep is messed up I don't feel quite normal in the waking hours. My past experience tells me that its not necessarily the amount of sleep that I get, but if I get it in a pattern that I can depend on. This kind of goes back to the last post, about habits and rituals. I believe sleep patterns are kind of a programmed thing, and as long as you follow some rules of the underlaying patterns too, you can program in any pattern. But the key may be that the pattern needs to be recursive, meaning one that loops, or at least have variations over the same time spans.
Thanks for the encouragement Paul. Your video debut was a good start, especially the nice spray in the face, which I felt too. Thanks :).
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Goals
Hmnnn. I haven't even read Pauls latest post about goals. It just made me think too much, which in my current state of mind is not very much at all.
But anyways.
I'll read what he has to say soon, but I went over and watched some of the uberman vlogger videos. There is so much [guilt] over there. I see these sleep goals being set, and every once in a while a little stumble, and I get the sense that there are these major feelings of guilt and disappointment, particularly with topping345. If it is not guilt, there is some useless feeling there if it is a bad one.
About goals. I think that is what is kind of missing in this. I have, as it appears to me others do, put off some of the goals that I have in order to be out of my mind sleepy and not cause any damage to anything.
I think what I am trying to say in such a fragmented way is that another element that might help with these schedules is to find ways to cause minor triumphs throughout the "day". Instead of just kicking oneself down, and recording so many failed attempts, or deciding to do something that may fail, I would rather take things a piece at a time measuredly, in chunks small enough to accomplish something and yet just substantantial enough to feel like something was really done. Like cleaning up the dorm room. Or studying one chapter in a text. Do something every waking period that you can finish and end on an accomplishment.
Some of the hardest working people I've ever known were farmers. They would work the entire day, dawn to dusk, and yet grumble about it very little. In fact they, as I do, saw it as a very great life. I think what was key to that is that they had their chores that had to completed each and every single day and they did them with such regularity it was as natural as simply walking along for them, yet they accomplished something, they sustained themselves with their own hands and sweat.
I think some of what is happening here when we decide to do the uberman is some of us just hang up everything and put everything on hold. And that means everything. The regular day to day rutines that we operate in between night and night gets broken, literally smashed into big unidentifieable chunks. And so we suffer without our rituals.
I think as a pre-requisite to starting the uberman, and it has been said before, but one *must* figure out just what it is that one is going to do while they are awake. What is it they are going to do with all this time. And even just as important what is it that they are going to do while they are adjusting to the new time reframe.
And then go even farther and describe them as routines. I'll wake up and do this... and that leads to this. Steve Pavlina talks about this in how to fall asleep and wake up early. He describes that he gets up and moves directly in to accomplishing something.
Don't just let the program be "notice it is nap time, lay down, take nap, hear alarm, wake up." We probably need 4x the "daily" activity as we do the night activity in a constant routine. If we just end with wake up...and don't put that next step in there, a next section of rail, our minds will find an "unplanned" next step.
And we need to reward ourselves, making it fit in to the routine that we finish something, accomplish some small thing, even if it is easy enough to be as automatic as walking, or milking the cows is to the farmer.
Don't leave a wild expanse of time for unexpected behaviors to grow in.
Ok, time for some sleep. I'll update on how I'm doing, which is OK, probably next waking, as that seems to be my routine to at least update each waking (I've been awake for 16 hours now, but only had a couple of hours of very broken sleep before that).
But anyways.
I'll read what he has to say soon, but I went over and watched some of the uberman vlogger videos. There is so much [guilt] over there. I see these sleep goals being set, and every once in a while a little stumble, and I get the sense that there are these major feelings of guilt and disappointment, particularly with topping345. If it is not guilt, there is some useless feeling there if it is a bad one.
About goals. I think that is what is kind of missing in this. I have, as it appears to me others do, put off some of the goals that I have in order to be out of my mind sleepy and not cause any damage to anything.
I think what I am trying to say in such a fragmented way is that another element that might help with these schedules is to find ways to cause minor triumphs throughout the "day". Instead of just kicking oneself down, and recording so many failed attempts, or deciding to do something that may fail, I would rather take things a piece at a time measuredly, in chunks small enough to accomplish something and yet just substantantial enough to feel like something was really done. Like cleaning up the dorm room. Or studying one chapter in a text. Do something every waking period that you can finish and end on an accomplishment.
Some of the hardest working people I've ever known were farmers. They would work the entire day, dawn to dusk, and yet grumble about it very little. In fact they, as I do, saw it as a very great life. I think what was key to that is that they had their chores that had to completed each and every single day and they did them with such regularity it was as natural as simply walking along for them, yet they accomplished something, they sustained themselves with their own hands and sweat.
I think some of what is happening here when we decide to do the uberman is some of us just hang up everything and put everything on hold. And that means everything. The regular day to day rutines that we operate in between night and night gets broken, literally smashed into big unidentifieable chunks. And so we suffer without our rituals.
I think as a pre-requisite to starting the uberman, and it has been said before, but one *must* figure out just what it is that one is going to do while they are awake. What is it they are going to do with all this time. And even just as important what is it that they are going to do while they are adjusting to the new time reframe.
And then go even farther and describe them as routines. I'll wake up and do this... and that leads to this. Steve Pavlina talks about this in how to fall asleep and wake up early. He describes that he gets up and moves directly in to accomplishing something.
Don't just let the program be "notice it is nap time, lay down, take nap, hear alarm, wake up." We probably need 4x the "daily" activity as we do the night activity in a constant routine. If we just end with wake up...and don't put that next step in there, a next section of rail, our minds will find an "unplanned" next step.
And we need to reward ourselves, making it fit in to the routine that we finish something, accomplish some small thing, even if it is easy enough to be as automatic as walking, or milking the cows is to the farmer.
Don't leave a wild expanse of time for unexpected behaviors to grow in.
Ok, time for some sleep. I'll update on how I'm doing, which is OK, probably next waking, as that seems to be my routine to at least update each waking (I've been awake for 16 hours now, but only had a couple of hours of very broken sleep before that).
Friday, April 20, 2007
I Soo Wanna Be Lazy
Went to sleep at 5:00am or a little before. Or layed down anyways. I was feeling pretty tired so I did doze, but not continuously. It was the best so far though. I woke up at 5:35am or whenever my wifes alarm goes off. Then there are the three snooze buttons we dozed through. She took her shower. I took mine earlier, so I dozed. Then I had to get up. I did OK. I drove her in to work today (I would not have done this had I not felt safe). Bought the Doritos. Mission accomplished.
I have much to do today, and I gotta tell ya, I don't feel like being very productive. Since being back home about 1/2 an hour, I find that gravity has increased about 30%, and it's wearing down on me. My mind wanders easily.
Let's see. Must get car cleaned up. Must.. sleep..No!! Must scan car sites for new entries... must sl..!! I don't want to take another aspirin cause I don't want to get hooked. So I'm gonna have to tough it out. I know from my experience that this time right now when I am on my nocturnal schedule as I have been it is the most difficult time for me to stay awake. Soooo, what can I do? Becca wants the landry done. Thats a good place to start. Car wash doesn't open til' 9 anyways.
Part of me wonders if the diaries and claims of "the other side' of the break in period is just a hoax. It is very much too early to tell right now, but it is a nasty joke if it doesn't exist. If all there is is sleep depravation and pain. Ha ... ha. But based on my own experience with lack of sleep over several days I have some faith. No reason to quit now anyways.
Been thinking lots of thoughts, about the nature of REM, about habits and rituals, other things. But I'll save that. I am not even sure I am writing all that well. Sometimes I notice if I write like I talk that it doesn't look all that well, as there is no way to accent the words that I do in writing. Some sentences read both choppy and kind of runon sentencish.
I guess I will stare at the wall for a little bit. I honestly feel like doing that right now. Next sleep may be sooner than later.
I have much to do today, and I gotta tell ya, I don't feel like being very productive. Since being back home about 1/2 an hour, I find that gravity has increased about 30%, and it's wearing down on me. My mind wanders easily.
Let's see. Must get car cleaned up. Must.. sleep..No!! Must scan car sites for new entries... must sl..!! I don't want to take another aspirin cause I don't want to get hooked. So I'm gonna have to tough it out. I know from my experience that this time right now when I am on my nocturnal schedule as I have been it is the most difficult time for me to stay awake. Soooo, what can I do? Becca wants the landry done. Thats a good place to start. Car wash doesn't open til' 9 anyways.
Part of me wonders if the diaries and claims of "the other side' of the break in period is just a hoax. It is very much too early to tell right now, but it is a nasty joke if it doesn't exist. If all there is is sleep depravation and pain. Ha ... ha. But based on my own experience with lack of sleep over several days I have some faith. No reason to quit now anyways.
Been thinking lots of thoughts, about the nature of REM, about habits and rituals, other things. But I'll save that. I am not even sure I am writing all that well. Sometimes I notice if I write like I talk that it doesn't look all that well, as there is no way to accent the words that I do in writing. Some sentences read both choppy and kind of runon sentencish.
I guess I will stare at the wall for a little bit. I honestly feel like doing that right now. Next sleep may be sooner than later.
Day 3 - I Think
My 3:00am went well. I actually took it at about 2:30am.
I have been waiting til I am sure I am on my way to sleep before hitting the 25 minute timer. That way I make sure I get some sleep. I don't think it is necessary to cause total depravation to compress the sleep. I think if I just keep practicing the pattern several times a day it will start to become efficient. Sure, being more tired will help it come on sooner and sooner, but I think I'll give myself a chance to get at least a little sleep each session. This time it took about 20 - 25 minutes to really feel like I would sleep. I didn't finish the 25 minute time. I did sleep, but not deeply, and woke up about 5 minutes before. I figure that with the little slip offs before I ran the timer was probably enough. So total down time was about 40 minutes.
It's 4:00am, and I feel tired. For me tired is a feeling of tightness in my head, like I've dived underwater 20 feet and I feel the pressure on my head and sometimes my chest. I've never gone diving however.
Did I mention I have the munchies? I have a container of a bean dip from Lupe Tortillas that I am almost ready to go out and buy a bag of Doritos for. Sounds good for breakfast doesn't it? Only I am so tired I probably should not get near a vehicle. I may consider doing a ultradian cycle sleep this time because I do have to use a car this morning.
I plan to do another at around 5:00am.
I have been waiting til I am sure I am on my way to sleep before hitting the 25 minute timer. That way I make sure I get some sleep. I don't think it is necessary to cause total depravation to compress the sleep. I think if I just keep practicing the pattern several times a day it will start to become efficient. Sure, being more tired will help it come on sooner and sooner, but I think I'll give myself a chance to get at least a little sleep each session. This time it took about 20 - 25 minutes to really feel like I would sleep. I didn't finish the 25 minute time. I did sleep, but not deeply, and woke up about 5 minutes before. I figure that with the little slip offs before I ran the timer was probably enough. So total down time was about 40 minutes.
It's 4:00am, and I feel tired. For me tired is a feeling of tightness in my head, like I've dived underwater 20 feet and I feel the pressure on my head and sometimes my chest. I've never gone diving however.
Did I mention I have the munchies? I have a container of a bean dip from Lupe Tortillas that I am almost ready to go out and buy a bag of Doritos for. Sounds good for breakfast doesn't it? Only I am so tired I probably should not get near a vehicle. I may consider doing a ultradian cycle sleep this time because I do have to use a car this morning.
I plan to do another at around 5:00am.
Aspirin!!!
I almost forgot! One of my secrets for handling fatigue has been taking simple aspirin. Usually what causes my misery is some kind of feeling which intensifies to become somewhat "painful". I can feel extremely tired and drowsy, and that doesn't hurt much. But it is the effort to keep going that can cause a wide variety of extremely uncomfortable feelings. A second source is just laying down trying to sleep. Sometimes I cannot find the right position, or little things bug me, or I can't relax. Aspirin has helped me in the past.
I do not use drugs unless I absolutely need them. In this experiment every once in a while I will reach an extreme, and that is where I'll take a couple bayer, or walmart, or walgreens, aspirin tablets. Lack of sleep is very bad for the heart, 2 afternoon naps a week can reduce risk by as much as 50%, and aspirin helps the heart (by thinning the blood and reducing clotting) so there must be a connection between what aspirin does and what sleep does.
So I just took 2 about 1/2 an hour ago, and I now feel a surge, more than a little one, in my energy. I will be careful not to get hooked on them, and I'll try to figure out how it actually affects my sleep, which I need to do now according to the time. There may be some research out there on this already.
Later and later.
I do not use drugs unless I absolutely need them. In this experiment every once in a while I will reach an extreme, and that is where I'll take a couple bayer, or walmart, or walgreens, aspirin tablets. Lack of sleep is very bad for the heart, 2 afternoon naps a week can reduce risk by as much as 50%, and aspirin helps the heart (by thinning the blood and reducing clotting) so there must be a connection between what aspirin does and what sleep does.
So I just took 2 about 1/2 an hour ago, and I now feel a surge, more than a little one, in my energy. I will be careful not to get hooked on them, and I'll try to figure out how it actually affects my sleep, which I need to do now according to the time. There may be some research out there on this already.
Later and later.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
So Far So Good
As you can tell from the last post, I was in a little bit of a low spot there. I had just woken up from the only nap since waking up from a short crash at 4:00pm (started at 12:30pm). The "crash", which I have absolutely no guilt for, and some of you trying this should learn from, was good for me. It ended up I was having a very long afternoon/evening, and I wasn't going to have a chance for a nap until about 10:30pm.
I am sure that my crash happened because I couldn't fall asleep again at another attempt at sleep at 8:00am. It was in the car, with an eye pillow and earplugs, but there was just no sleeping for some reason. I was not dangerously tired to where I couldn't drive, so I drove home. Then I was reading things on the web and looking for other cars for sale, and time flew to afternoon. I couldn't find something or other to help me wake up, and I was at that time needing sleep, so I decided to just let myself take a snooze for one or two ultradian cycles. I woke up at 4:00. So thats 3 1/2 hours. And I was feeling very groggy, probably because of that extra 1/2 hour (2 normal common ultradian cycles total 3 hours, or 2 x 90 minutes).
I felt fine for most of the night. But at about 10:45pm, when my wife was in bed too, but I was trying to stay up to finish watching "The Colbert Report", I just decided I couldn't wait until 11:00pm.
The sleep went pretty well. I woke up feeling OK, but I started to dip again just about the time I was beginning to nag myself to post here about where I disappeared to all day. But I made the post :).
So it's 1:08am here now. I don't care to add up where I am for sleep to wake ratio, or total the hours. I am very tired. But I've been here before and it is very familiar. Thats kinda sad, but good too. I don't plan to do much tonight other than try to find something interesting on TV. I don't have anything heavy tomorrow, although I do need to clean the car really well. I was supposed to do that yesterday when I was crashing.
Like Paul (www.paul-bradley.com) I am using Sleep Tracker (I'll make a link later, but it is at placebos site). It's just fine. I just don't want to input the last 18 hours just this minute.
I am also noticing fovial vision. My peripheral vision darkens. At the same time I find it easier to focus my eyes, but that is about all that I see. I think the brain does shut out extra data it doesn't need when pushed "beyond fatigue". I am looking forward to seeing what it is like to transition from this to a more awake state once established in a polyphasic sleep pattern. I have had terrible sleeping habits so it may be quite a difference if I "wake up" as much as others report. It's also very nice to know I'm not going to an empty room, so to speak.
One thing I noticed on the first attempt earlier this week, after having a few naps, is that the naps seem much longer than they actually are. In fact, when I did crash the first 6 or 8 hours or however long it was It seemed as if I had been in bed sleeping on and off the entire day, like 16 hours. A deeply distorted sense of time is definitely a product of this experiment.
Paul writes of peripheral vision being much more acute, and he and others have written of chatter in ones head, what I would call peripheral internalizations, quieting down too. I suspect the data from the peripheral vision has a clearer neural pathway to get in to conciousness if all the chatter is cleared.
Tonight I had a small piece of steak, 3 beef ribs, and some chili. mmmMMMEATT!! As a former atkins experimenter, having lost 17lbs in 3 1/2 weeks, I do have a tendency to blame processed carbohydrates for most of our bodies maladjustments. I am not on Atkins now, as about an hour ago I had 1/2 a cantelope. This being awake all the time makes me hungrier. I wonder if some of the same changes in the paragraphs above can be experienced by smoking pot?
What is on the TV behind me right now is boring me. Time to give it some more attention, particularly the tuner.
I am sure that my crash happened because I couldn't fall asleep again at another attempt at sleep at 8:00am. It was in the car, with an eye pillow and earplugs, but there was just no sleeping for some reason. I was not dangerously tired to where I couldn't drive, so I drove home. Then I was reading things on the web and looking for other cars for sale, and time flew to afternoon. I couldn't find something or other to help me wake up, and I was at that time needing sleep, so I decided to just let myself take a snooze for one or two ultradian cycles. I woke up at 4:00. So thats 3 1/2 hours. And I was feeling very groggy, probably because of that extra 1/2 hour (2 normal common ultradian cycles total 3 hours, or 2 x 90 minutes).
I felt fine for most of the night. But at about 10:45pm, when my wife was in bed too, but I was trying to stay up to finish watching "The Colbert Report", I just decided I couldn't wait until 11:00pm.
The sleep went pretty well. I woke up feeling OK, but I started to dip again just about the time I was beginning to nag myself to post here about where I disappeared to all day. But I made the post :).
So it's 1:08am here now. I don't care to add up where I am for sleep to wake ratio, or total the hours. I am very tired. But I've been here before and it is very familiar. Thats kinda sad, but good too. I don't plan to do much tonight other than try to find something interesting on TV. I don't have anything heavy tomorrow, although I do need to clean the car really well. I was supposed to do that yesterday when I was crashing.
Like Paul (www.paul-bradley.com) I am using Sleep Tracker (I'll make a link later, but it is at placebos site). It's just fine. I just don't want to input the last 18 hours just this minute.
I am also noticing fovial vision. My peripheral vision darkens. At the same time I find it easier to focus my eyes, but that is about all that I see. I think the brain does shut out extra data it doesn't need when pushed "beyond fatigue". I am looking forward to seeing what it is like to transition from this to a more awake state once established in a polyphasic sleep pattern. I have had terrible sleeping habits so it may be quite a difference if I "wake up" as much as others report. It's also very nice to know I'm not going to an empty room, so to speak.
One thing I noticed on the first attempt earlier this week, after having a few naps, is that the naps seem much longer than they actually are. In fact, when I did crash the first 6 or 8 hours or however long it was It seemed as if I had been in bed sleeping on and off the entire day, like 16 hours. A deeply distorted sense of time is definitely a product of this experiment.
Paul writes of peripheral vision being much more acute, and he and others have written of chatter in ones head, what I would call peripheral internalizations, quieting down too. I suspect the data from the peripheral vision has a clearer neural pathway to get in to conciousness if all the chatter is cleared.
Tonight I had a small piece of steak, 3 beef ribs, and some chili. mmmMMMEATT!! As a former atkins experimenter, having lost 17lbs in 3 1/2 weeks, I do have a tendency to blame processed carbohydrates for most of our bodies maladjustments. I am not on Atkins now, as about an hour ago I had 1/2 a cantelope. This being awake all the time makes me hungrier. I wonder if some of the same changes in the paragraphs above can be experienced by smoking pot?
What is on the TV behind me right now is boring me. Time to give it some more attention, particularly the tuner.
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